Keeping Her in My Memories; Embracing Her as She is Now

Keeping Her in My Memories; Embracing Her as She is Now

I have two main dates with which I’ve learned to cope, the anniversary of my daughter’s passing and her birthday, which falls in September. She’d be turning 29 this year and that is difficult to imagine. She’s frozen in my memory at nineteen.

As I move closer to determining a release date for “Passing Rain,” I thought blogging about her coming birthday might be a good way of better preparing for it. I haven’t always handled the anniversaries, the holidays, all those special days on which I feel her physical absence in the best of ways.

So to get ready for this post I searched online to see how others deal with these occasions. The advice that resonated the most with me came from Abraham Hicks. To connect with her as she is now I have to set aside the grief and be the best me I can be.

Keeping her as she was in my memories is fine, but I’ve already embraced her as she is now. I’ve mentioned many times that I think of her as my little inside connection. She’s no longer that nineteen-year-old Earthbound child I knew. She’s operating at a higher level and if a birthday while she was here focused on celebrating her advancement into a new year, shouldn’t her birthday now be focused on celebrating where she is now, in her most advanced state?

In order for me to connect with her I can’t hold myself down with pain and grief, because that isn’t where she is. I’m not saying I won’t still feel that grief at times, but accepting her more in her current state will help me to better cope with those moments. For her birthday this year I plan to concentrate on being the best me I can be and to honor her for being the magnificent being she is.

I’ve been doing this in my daily life for some time. I’ve thought of my loved ones who have passed and imagined them as the Grand Masters they are, my inside connections to that place from where we originate. I’ve felt their love and felt the connection. I believe in those moments I’m connecting because I’m coming into alignment with the real me. I’ll be keeping her in my memories, but embracing her as she is now.

What better time to nurture that connection than on her birthday?


Read about the dream that inspired me to write Passing RainFrom the Camel’s Mouth

16 thoughts on “Keeping Her in My Memories; Embracing Her as She is Now”

    1. We all have our stuff, Anna and this is part of mine, but you’re right. My life is so much richer for having her in it both then and now. Hope all is well with you.

  1. Sometimes there are no words to adequately describe the emotional tide which sweeps over us when we read a blog entry like this. The poignant eloquence with which you write personifies “the magnificent being she is.” Her light still burns bright within you and that is indeed cause for comfort. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post with us.

  2. Doreen, that was the most beautiful tribute I have ever read. Thank you so much for sharing. I can only imagine all that you have gone through. Stay strong!

  3. I do think of Rain at times and how she must be seeing us from beyond the veil – she is still her own person but of the light too – a different Rain with her unique essence still there. Love you and grateful that the years have brought an evolution to the grief. Xxxooo

  4. Thanks for sharing your beautiful, positive thoughts on your daughter’s existence as it is now. You’re a wonderful example of how to think about life’s most heartbreaking experience.

    1. Thank you, Karen, I can’t believe it’s been as long as it has either. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes it seems as if my time with her was in a different life. I so appreciated your support and your hugs.

Would love to hear from you! Please let me know your thoughts.